Guest blog by Kasak.

About the writer!
The writer known by a pen name, Kasak is a fitness freak, who does modelling and in his words, he is someone who, "emphasises on all experiences in life". He likes to travel and it is music that keeps him motivated. 

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Credits: The song in this story, 
"Chahaten Dhoka hain
Meri Hasraton Ke aage.."
has been taken from the band, AAG.
Youtube link, for the song; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHUjFomExXg
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Nobody's worth living for.. (Part-1)



“Your performance starts in a minute! Are you ready?” The compere asks him in his usually tensed demeanor.
He looks up. His eyes are red and dry. At the first glance you see him; it becomes obvious that he is an insomniac. The dark circles cover a huge portion of his chiseled face. He is almost expression less. He gulps his half of neat vodka, covers it up with a brief cough and stands up straight.
“Yes.”
“ Take it easy! Are you okay?” asks the compere, now out of concern.
“I’m alright Dude! When will you stop worrying so much? It’s not the first day and neither it’s the last that you’d be witnessing this. Relax!”
“At the speed your drinking capacity is increasing with each passing day, I doubt the last day might come sooner than you want it to!”
“Who cares man? Miss me when I am gone!” He winks and puts his guitar strap around his shoulder.
He closes his eyes, plays the chords and adjusts the tuning alongside his expressions. At last, with the desired sound coming in from the chords, tranquility sinks in and he steps on the stage.
“There you go motherfuckers! Applaud at my pain and cheer at my tears.” He thinks to himself as his fingers magically grip the chords and the notes begin to flow. His baritone compliments the instrument and the audience enters the trance ensued by the duo.
They all do as he says. Every Friday night it is almost sure that he will get double the crowd coming than the previous performance of his saw. Clubs and lounges throughout Delhi quarrel amongst each other to get him perform at their premises. Getting him means triple the usual sale even with no schemes, offers or happy hours. He is famous and deserves all the attention. Tonight Club ‘Kyro’ is esteemed by his presence. He obviously has his own reasons and is fighting a battle which nobody is quite aware of.
He can be flooded with money and women, but chooses to keep a low profile. He performs only once a week as it makes him a living for the seven days up ahead.  Music has never been the same since she left, but to him it has become more of a reason to vent his feelings, aspirations, hopes and emotions out, which had been obliterated long back.
The audience is mesmerized by his excellence and heartfelt flair. As he sings opening his soul out to the gathering, his name is constantly cheered on by the beautiful group of women sitting in the first row, getting up and close to their hero. They are joined by the rest of the crowd in no time. A field of vibrant energy resonates through the club.
“Rishit! Rishit! Rishit! Rishit!”  The number of flying kisses received by him from the fairer sex increases with each performance of his. The men appear to have already started the ‘war of chivalry’ with him.
As far as he is concerned, his eyes are closed, his fingers are doing all the magic and he is in a parallel reality, a world of his own.
"Chahaten Dhoka hain
Meri Hasraton Ke aage..

Kya tujhe roka hain
Jhoothi raahaton ne aake…

Khwashien Dhoka hain
Tu jinn ke peeche bhaage..

Jhootha Dikhava hain..

Mere Khwabon ke aage..

Meri..
Khaali Ragon me tu bharde khoon

Phir se..
Jaaga Junoon.
Phir se…

Ke mein Haara Hoon
Phir se..

Ke mein tera hoon
Phir se…"

He opens his eyes. He is startled! The audience breaks down in a thunderous round of applause and the girls shout ‘Once More! Once More!’ in unison. He concludes by displaying his excellence on the guitar and the melody flows through, reaching the depths of every listener and creating an electrifying atmosphere in the club. On the other hand, he can almost feel the pain flushing out through his veins as his music is the only possible healing remedy available to him, even though temporary.

“Thank you guys! Love you all” he says as blows out a flying kiss to the crowd and steps down the stage. The girls look at him in awe and admiration.
His new found solace is short lived as he catches a glimpse of her. And worse, she is walking towards him.
“Hey! You were really awesome. I loved your performance” she says as he extends herself for a hug. He immediately steps back and withdraws. He shakes her hand instead.
“Thanks.”
“Why is this formality haan? Dude how many times do I tell you! So what if it’s over between us? WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS! I have moved on in life and you should too.” She says and tries faking a smile.
“Hmm”
“Rishit! I hate this okay! Talk to me!”
“What brings you here today?”
“Rishit? What kind of an absurd question is that? It’s your performance. I had to. See Abhi is here too today!” She says as she introduces both the men, which obviously isn’t a very good idea. They formally shake hands and pass a fake grin towards each other.
“As if! Anyway, thanks for coming guys, I appreciate.” He turns his back and starts walking towards the bar.
“At least be courageous enough to cherish the reality instead of running from it!” She shouts to him and immediately regrets. He turns back at her furiously.
“What is your problem? You see I am not necessarily interested in talking to you. ISN’T THAT CLEAR ENOUGH TO YOU? I am doing just fine and your concern isn’t needed!”
“Dude watch your tongue!” Abhi angrily retorts at him.
“Stay out of this!” He makes himself firm and looks deep into Abhi’s eyes. You do not want to mess up with someone who is ‘a half vodka’ aggressive. Abhi is signaled by her to calm down.
“ Rishit! Let us be mature about this. Whatever happened happened in the past. Just LET IT GO! We are proud of what you’ve achieved and it is certain that if you continue being so good, you are going to achieve your dream soon.” She fakes a smile again.
Rishit is in no mood for un- required words of encouragement. He looks at her with his small dark-circle clad eyes. Eyes which are way too small to hide the pain which subsides in his soul.
“Yeah right ‘LET IT GO!’ It is your fault so ‘LET IT GO’. You really deserve somebody doing the same to you as you did to me. Then I will ask you to ‘LET IT GO!’. Sounds fun! Isn’t it?” Abhi now looks at him with his fire lit eyeballs.
“I understand Rishit and I’ve apologized to you for that” Her head drops and she shrugs her shoulders in distress.
“Oh yes! Rip somebody off emotionally and then very conveniently ask for forgiveness. I mean how cool is that?” He says as he shrugs his shoulders. Abhi is now grinding his teeth and clenching his fists.
“Rishit, you can never change! I’m really done with your nonsense! Nobody can explain anything to you. You just aren’t ready to accept things as they are. I am happy with Abhi and you have to accept that.”
“I don’t really have a choice, do I? Obviously, my happiness doesn’t matter to you.  What about my pain? What about the shit you’ve put me through? Do you even have an idea of how my life is right now? Why would you anyway?  All you care about is yourself and your happiness! YOU ARE JUST A SELFISH BITCH! YOU GET THAT? WHY AM I EVEN REFINING MY WORDS FOR YOU? YOU ARE A SLUT! YOU REALLY ARE!”
Abhi steps forward to grab him by his collar but is stopped by her. He pushes her aside and smacks a punch on Rishit’s left cheek. Rishit falls on the ground with a crash. Everybody in the club looks at the scene, shocked.
“HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO HER? You bastard! Who would even want to be with an alcoholic like you! Just look at yourself! Next time, keep your words in check or I’ll kill you motherfucker!” Abhi says and finds himself held by two gigantic bouncers who are committed to the job in hand.
Rishit gets up, rubs his cheek only to find his lip cut and bleeding profusely. The crowd stares at him, distraught by what just happened. He smiles at the girls, who are now looking at him with sympathy. He picks up the pint of beer lying on the table beside him.
“So motherfucker? Your bitch is staying back here with me! That’s when you’re getting kicked out of here. Don’t worry I’ll keep her satisfied mate.” He winks at Abhi.
Abhi furiously breaks out of the bouncer’s grip and runs towards Rishit intending to land another punch on his face. Rishit steps behind and hits the pint of beer on Abhi’s forehead. Abhi is lying unconscious and bleeding on the ground.
“You can’t just mess around with ME! Nobody does that!” He says as he is held by the bouncers. The crowd looks at the scene, surprised. Seeing their favorite artist in a club brawl isn’t the most pleasant thing to witness, especially after a mesmerizing performance of his.
“FUCK YOU RISHIT! SERIOUSLY! Nobody can help you!  Look at what you just did! Nobody can ever stand you and your aggressive nature. You deserve this emptiness and you deserve the pain you are getting into. Go to hell!” She cries.
“You are right SHIVANI! You said it. Nobody’s worth living for!” He gives a wry smile as he is dragged out of the club by the bouncers.


Distraught, broken and bleeding, he finds himself sitting in a train. His silence is interrupted by a cracking masculine voice.
“Can I see your ticket sir?” asks the cracking voice.
“Umm.. I don’t have one.”
“Please get down at the next station then!” says the cracking voice, now irritated.
“Okay”
He gets up his seat and leaves towards the exit door. He feels the cold November breeze on his face coming in from the door, due to the rapid motion of the train. He wonders if the next station is far and he could stand there a little longer. He is interrupted by the same voice again.
“Sir, we will be at the next station in ten minutes. Please get down and pay the penalty before you do so!”
“Which is the next station?”
“Kota”
“Isn’t it possible to get a seat now?”
“Sorry sir! As you can see, the train is full. If there were seats available, I would have given you one.”
He takes out his wallet, only to find one five hundred rupee note in it. He discreetly hands over the note to the ticket checker and the ‘irritated’ cracking voice becomes a ‘sweet’ cracking voice.
“I will see if something can be done. Till then you can resume sitting at your earlier seat!” Winks are exchanged. The problem is solved.
“Where is this train going, by the way?”
“Mumbai”
His face illuminates with a nostalgic smile. The ticket checker takes leave. He stands on the berth door and lets the breeze embrace him for a while. He then returns to his seat.
“Nobody’s worth living for.” The painful incident reverberates in his mind until he drifts into a rare deep sleep.
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Kasak, for Artist Address --
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Previous post by Kasak,
http://www.gagansvaid.blogspot.in/2014/10/guest-blog-by-ka-sak.html

Comments

  1. The best thing about this piece is it's written so naturally. The story really touches the heart and is amazing. Thanks kasak for writing it so well... Eagerly looking forward to part-2!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much guneet! I am glad that you're connecting with the story. Do tell me your thoughts at the completion of this series. :)

      Much love
      Kasak

      Delete
  2. Im sorry! Correction. Guneev*

    ReplyDelete
  3. I definitely will!! :D i just hope that it's a happy ending for rishit!!

    ReplyDelete

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