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Tuesday, 29 July 2014

On being you and me!

Perfection ceases as a long lost tree.
Oh where went thee, oh where went thee?
In my hours of slumber, in my hours of working,
I get to gaze, at the stars and the seas.
Oh dearest me, where went thee; is it in the sea?

You were like that, a friend who walked down the lanes,
Who made it clear, what you were like and in which tryst you moved.
You were easy in your choices and living; you never questioned others,
for you knew to you, no one mattered as much as yourself.

No, you weren't being selfish then, you were being happy;
your happiness that lied purely in your insight of watching the lives and the trees.
You could notice, the pain in their eyes, they walked up shore, carrying logs of wood on their backs.
You saw them, trying to make a penny out of their midnight oils that burned ceaselessly.
To them struggle meant to arrange for their hunger, their empty stomachs,
For you had known that you could do for them, what the governments couldn't.
You had seen that in the power, people came and went;
They fought and bred themselves with greediness.
You never belonged to the system that was governing you, yet you couldn't raise your voice to make it better a place, that would do.

Many a times, you felt alone;
Still, you had liked yourself and your loneliness.
Many a times, you had known the route;
You were waiting for the right moment to set.
Yes, you knew you were losing a lot you could gain as a beautiful learning.
Still you knew, you had to pause for your day was yet to arrive.
Yes, you had to start once again, when your mates would be your superiors,
Still you had known, no one was bigger or smaller in this game of life.
Every one was mere a player and an actor in a different role.
Alike you, they had their own walk to sprawl and counter along their falls.
Oh yeah dearest man, you weren't there all alone by yourself.
For your dreams and hopes are still so much alive as were those then,
Now that your time has come, you have learned this that,
Life can be made beautiful, yes, don't expect from others but don't hurt them either.

They are your comrades, you have to bring equality and not run away from it,
You have to know yourself and sum along your grief,
Not that one person goes to north to search for peace and the other person goes to east.
Why not is life to be seen as one, undone by mysteries and formalities,
Why is there to be a gap between the rich and the poor?
Why can't their be the notion ringing that a heart is a heart,
Either he is having less money or more money, where does it account for harmony?
Why not the rich is the man with values so strong and loyal and why isn't the poor guy be,
the man with evil thoughts that leave unrest for the entire world to moan for?
Why is it that we have to wait for the unity to form and we be it's part;
Why don't we start it from ourselves and form the links to accord,
Oh yes, it is not my struggle alone, or yours;
It's the plight of the world that belongs to thee as well as to me.

Yes, he still believes in perfection, and it's a journey he conceives. Period.

Gagandeep Singh Vaid
29th July' 14

Monday, 28 July 2014

Another poem to the shelf..

Eyes say to catch the sleep;
Acquaint to them the world of sound and peace.
For who ever or whatsoever murmurs in thine sleep;
Is holy magnificence, it's your space that you seek.

Away from the waterfalls,
or with the waterfalls;
you watchest them, the waterfalls,
as thee hold thy breathe and capture the moment.
Either in thine wakeful hours, or when that instant;
be you in your slumber, when a whole new world is cast.
You lookest it, you observe its significance,
in giving you your gift of thine own presence.
Ever unique the wisdom calls,
over and over, the light that scrolls;
over the regions through the skies,
to reach to thee, as you become another passer by.
To this journey called life you come,
oh my God; you really meant your love.
Now close your eyes and waitest thee;
to catch it hence again tonight,
as thee walk over the plains and the greens,
after you take in the beauty of the seas.
Somewhere oh yea, somewhere I heard them say,
that those witnesses of yours, combine and curb as a ray,
to come back to you once again, the later part of the day.
For, whatever that you had seen and forgotten to appreciate,
man, I ask thee; how magical it is, when that fall of prominence,
yet again comes back to you in equal measures being the gift of sense.

Gagandeep Singh Vaid
28th July'14

Saturday, 26 July 2014

a wing of composure sings..

heart says, it is pure and rough;
broken along the alleys and the trough.

how i wonder what happens across,
every time, there occurs a pause;
radiates the open sky, thine wisdom dear Lord.
how i wonder, what is mine and what is not.

all along the valley and the slope,
i witness standing at the galleries non stop;
as flows the water, down into the river bed,
i have noticed how my life took a level far ahead,
to walk and fall, carrying the withered rose,
as the sun rises, so does rise my clause;
that life is rich, it is barren,
that life is real, yet is a tester of the den.

whatever i have is mine, or is it;
that whatever i had was mine, now is hit;
with the waves, and the storms;
how i wonder, life is done with the norms.

no more celebration exists,
life in boots of weakness buzzes;
only if on the destiny did sit,
such a warm intent, undone of grudges.
could the butterfly once again sit,
until its dismissal through the ledges.
there would be a reason in it's solid wings,
to flap and rock and band a sling;
yet it didn't know that the wings,
were capable enough to be hurt and not fly, or sing;
still, it believed that the life would yet one day win.

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Try to the day!

Say times and the times change,
Little or more, my heart memoirs their trace.
Were those more, or less; that we let through,
To not come to us and go far, off the blue.

All of a sudden, the barrier removes,
Our own avoidance dooms,
to end itself out of diffidence.
We realize, that yes it was senseless,
to others but not to our sense.

Were it a requirement,
Or ‘twas an ointment,
To heal the boredom,
or was it one segment;
wherein we were heated,
we were troubled unsatiated.

They our good friends had to bid byes,
that we made them pass imaginative sighs;
How they had thought of us to be friends,
how we responded, teared them to no ends.

Today the heart says, those days, our acts,
won’t ever come back, incense.
We won’t be apparelled in the same hats,
but it’s better to realize the ocean is dense.
Like, it has a surface vast deep, one can tap;
so, why not try yet again to cast the wings.

A little or more try won’t make comebacks,
at least our last hopes wouldn't forever conceal;
in dryness of a defeat at last but of aptness,
of the friendship that once sounded evergreen.

Gagandeep Singh Vaid

Only if tomorrow had come.

i say this, that the missing thing between us;
won’t ever fill and rendezvous.
won’t we again sit and talk over the blue,
the sip of a coffee won’t be thus.

it was they say, as a priced mechanism;
something that brought us together,
neither was it mine or your dominion,
it was just a hope, in its lovely feathers.
then it had to go away, because it was it;
written in our destinies; was everything knit.

if only could we cross the inlay roads,
in that very valley we could board,
a lot many dreams, in your chirping sigh;
i could express to you lots, oh that silence.

humble is the mind that seeks your love,
my heart that personifies you, my love.
i wish, if i could be as beautiful as you;
only if i could not hurt and get afar from you.

any ways, we were meant to stay till here,
yes; this little stay of ours, created magic all spheres.
i know you have wanted me to wait,
i wish the same, only if i had got enough time to wait;
as now, we are to part in our today,
i will be there with you forever, and in every part of today.
for unknown as tomorrow stems, who knows;
that as this goodbye sings, another connection grows.

being optimistic your lover dearest man,
i bid you byes, i am your flower, of every man.
it’s you who gave me, your attention that we,
got together in this bond of sorrowful awakening,
and yes, to know you; was immense glee.

Gagandeep Singh Vaid

Saturday, 12 July 2014

once i had a hope

life, what was it?
hopes bun together and lit.
yes, would the best define,
yes; it would outshine.
my life, would propel and accept,
all my flaws and insecurities leaped.

what was it,
they said 'twas life;
what was called friendship,
what was it called in hardship?
could anyone but determine,
whether, the sands would along dine,
with the rocks and the saline?

would the opposite people,
ever walk and travel a mile?
would they but not hurt over,
and let the bond sublime!
testify through awkward hurl,
and not exit itself in malign.

i looked at the sky,
i looked within my being;
i couldn't smile,
everything wasn't satisfying.
my inner tendencies were a lie,
i was missing them, i could wink.

to tell them, i was waiting;
the wait, that did sling and sling.
until, they were to respond,
i was a lake, i was a pond.
getting depleted from the ocean,
and light, to a decimal; i had become.

i kept my eye, at the surging waves,
i wanted to glow, alike my foes.
i wondered, i was one of those slaves,
who were abandoned from their homes.
in need, their hand of care, i had waited,
waited and waited; until depreciated.

then i had begun, my own walk of patience,
i forgot everybody, and i returned victorious.
i found my original self, life had been a magic;
a stance of happiness, i had achieved its' stick.


Friday, 11 July 2014

Destiny Made It To The Stars

Zoya was a very beautiful girl, who stood well dressed up in her best friend's marriage. She was feeling very lonely that day, as much as she was the happiest person. Having been the closest friend to Shambhavi. From high school to that day, they had well known what either of them liked and what not. From a week back, Zoya had joined Shambhavi in the family functions, to actively be a part of the rituals and to help carry them. They had grown up together and those youthful years had been the days of shine and splendour. They had travelled along, watched the films together, shopped and ate; they were ready any day for such schedule. This defined their love for each other and the company of one another.

Zoya kept her glance at the bride and groom getting their pictures clicked with relatives and friends. She was emotional, she was in her own world of imaginations. Somewhere figuring out where all those years had passed in between and how they had talked and dreamt about growing up and also leading independent lives of their own. Those were the mixed feelings, when she knew that Shambhavi wouldn't meet her frequently as they had met before her marriage, when they had talked about their hardships, their lows and ups in life to each other. Shambhavi was marrying an NRI. She would soon fly to a distant land and they would talk over phone but still, Zoya couldn't call her every time and ask her to come over coffee. These thoughts moved in Zoya's mind.

How everyone was happy in the wedding that no one had asked this girl, who had been the bride's best friend, what she went through at that time. She needed someone by her side, but she didn't bother to talk to anyone but go through her mixed feelings, with celebration of their friendship. She decided to be jolly and not cry all the more, although she was about to cry as she looked at Shambhavi leaving. The school girl after whom boys rushed to impress, the girl who was very sophisticated and very choosy, as to what to order for food and where to dine. How the school girl in her was felt to be seen, on her wedding day. How all the priceless memories stepped in and augmented their say to life, that how very fine it was to dream, to wonder and chirp in silence; that life was a journey and every person who met was an influence, either bad or good but was an influence. These two friends had really influenced each others' life and helped themselves in becoming better individuals.

That night passed, the newly weds had left the wedding venue for home. Zoya had met her friend beforehand, and they had promised to stay in touch. Later on, Zoya left for her home with images of her best friend's wedding, rolling in her mind. When Shambhavi would always say her that she didn't think, there was a right guy for her anywhere and she wouldn't marry ever and when Zoya would tell her that she would surely get that one person, who would be perfect for her. Those memories did strike her mind that night, and tears engrossed along but she knew, there wasn't any need to have room for sadness anymore. For, it was Shambhavi's big day. A very important as well as one of the most memorable days of her life.“ Mixed feelings, right!”  She thought yet again and the stars were visible in the sky, watching her as she watched them back. Her eyes closed, peaceful yet rhythmic the thoughts of the past days streamed across as waves reached the shore yet again, only to mix back with the waters in the backward motion into the sea. It meant that life would once again be normal, nothing was going to really change in the world.

Zoya had thoughts of her classmate, who had proposed to her, his love for her whence they were still in school. They had met again after a long time gap on Shambhavi's marriage. Kabir was very sweet, to greet her first and soon she winked a hello and they talked for sometime, sharing how they had been doing with their lives. Zoya could feel the love in Kabir's eyes for her ever present even that day, although time had moved really much from that phase when school was over. He didn't say her anything but his eyes could speak volumes. He had known that she didn't feel for him what he had always felt for her. Zoya was very happy to know that he was in the army and she told him about her bank, where she worked. It was a pleasant meeting for both of them. They exchanged their phone numbers and promised to meet, and stay in touch.

Next week, he called her to meet over for lunch as he hadn't left the city by then. Zoya was so influenced when he told her about the army, how disciplined everyone was; how they had to be alert at the borders, when there could be attack from the other side, and they had to take care of the people living in the nearby regions. After listening his stories of vigour, of bravery; she felt of him to be an intelligent person, whose reflexes were very sharp and whose eyes were very expressive. They had liked each others company. She told him, on how her banking job wasn't that much moving as his passion had been, to safeguard his country. Although she realized it that she had found it very easy and liked working in a bank. He told her, it was difficult for him to stay at one place and work. They shared a laughter pill, to make the atmosphere resound freshness to their discussions. Their gossips were very much involving either of them, to witness what it was to be an army man and what to be a banker. That was a memorable meet-up and they never knew that it would become so interesting and enjoyable. Kabir was to leave the very next day, as his holidays had been over. They bid goodbyes and as they had promised, they stayed in touch and expected the same in the times to come by. 

Zoya kept on wondering that why had he taken holidays, just to come on Shambhavi's marriage, although he was not a very close friend oh hers, but still he had come. She wanted to tell herself that he had come to meet her, to meet a girl whom he had given his heart and waited for all that while, to hear her say, or just to know how she was doing. Because otherwise, they had no connection whatsoever. That one meeting made her imagine, how Kabir had been as a person more closely than ever before. She had his thoughts everyday, for the next few weeks she couldn't forget him. His thoughts didn't leave her mind, even when she tried to think of something else, Kabir had cast a place in her heart; yes, it was so. She agreed to this as her emotions made her do so.

Zoya talked to Shambhavi on phone and told her, how she had met Kabir and couldn't forget him, his thoughts that would cross her mind daily. Shambhavi told her, "You miss him..right! " .. "Umm.. Yeah.. kind of.. sort of.. but why do I?" was Zoya's reply! Shambhavi suggested her to talk to him, to telephone him and ask how he was.. to this she responded in affirmative. Zoya called him on his phone but it wasn't in reach, she didn't know why but that very moment she missed him like anything. She could but recollect the many times, he had stood by her in class; it only showed that he cared for her. He never asked much from her, once she declined to his proposal in school, but his attitude towards her never changed but always remained the same. The intelligent boy, who completed his assignments on time and who helped everyone in the class with their assignments. She had liked him too, but she resisted to get into the bond of love. Zoya had answered Kabir in refusal, saying that love and relationships weren't meant for her; she disbelieved in anything such as love, she would say! But, then she was also innocent; she made her heart believe that whatever she was saying was right in the school days, although her heart was never too sure, of her actions.

Zoya had liked him too when she thought more and more about him, even after meeting him after a long gap. There had been no one else in her life. To like him was a newer feeling, like a freshened thought to experience in life. 

After a wait for more than a month, she got a call from Kabir, who told her that he was coming home after 6 months and then, his family had planned his wedding. It was going to be an arranged marriage, and Zoya was invited for his marriage. How she felt broken that moment, after believing in love; how she had felt inclination for him. The kind of a person, so fun-loving and caring he was, she wondered if she had known any such guy, and she liked his personality. But, she was quite late in this realization. She didn't want to tell her heart to him in the middle of everything, she thought it better to stay with her old ideals, by which she always lived; to be alone, and walk past the roads by herself. She reached her home, and she felt everyone at home being so happy! She couldn't pretend to be like them, with big smiles on their faces. Zoya's brothers were found staring at her face with some hidden secrets, she could sense that something was cooking behind, really. Then her brother told her that he had passed his entrance exam in a very renowned college of the state, and she congratulated him on his remarkable feat.

It had been evening when she had returned back home from her office and was surprised with the cheerfulness at their home. Then at the dinner table, everyone was normal like any other day, then the door knocked and Shambhavi went to see who was there at the door. Her father asked her about marriage, regarding when she thought it was the right time for her. But, then she didn't show much interest in these talks. She felt uneasy, to see everyone giving her example of Shambhavi, her friend; who had just got married. After the dinner was done, everyone as customarily did sit in the veranda in the house, when her mother would switch on the television to hear the news of the day. Her dad took out a picture of a boy, to show her; to see what she felt of the man, that her family could start their search for a suitable match for her. The picture of the boy was sent to Zoya, after being passed from her brothers, and they nodded their assent to the man in the photo. Least interested Zoya looked at the plants in the veranda, and then as the picture came to her, she was surprised to the hilt. "KABIR!" As much as she was in denial of the fact, that the guy in the photograph wasn't Kabir, the more she wanted to know about him. Was the guy really Kabir? She wanted a reality check, that it wasn't her dream. Everyone laughed at her surprise and she was too shy to sit any longer with everyone. With his picture in her hands, she went to her room and called Kabir on his phone. This time it did ring, and he told her; destiny after all brought them together. Their families had arranged it all for them, Shambhavi was there to tell the families about the both of them. Yes, this friend had known, what love meant to Zoya and how much Kabir loved her.

It was quite an unusual story, but yes, they both got married not after six months but after two and half years. They had talked, they had spent time, trying the life; that had surprised them. In the many presents of life, she and he got the best gift with the company of each  another. They were in love, and their waiting for the right time, only brought them their calling of life, as they were united forever.

Shambhavi and her husband did join the duo and their families, in the wedding; and it was a lovely feeling to be in love, they felt.

Gagandeep Singh Vaid 

a walk to carry

"Getting bored, thinking of life; its ways to treat me, and how it came to everyone and how not everyone could accept it that very way as it came. It was harsh to live it the manner imposed by others, it was difficult all the way more.",thought the boy. He knew it was so, and so was he concerned about her; but, what more could he do, he himself had less idea over that. He had known one thing, that he could do anything; now for that matter, how so ever weird it would sound so. He could react in crazy ways, go over-smart or react over, just that he couldn't limit himself. Maybe, his land was somewhere else that he was seeking.

He knew one thing that was also applicable to the world, that no one liked to live in a cage. It was just difficult to survive for long. But sometimes, it was important to live in those limits set upon us by our caretakers. Call it their weakness to understand our wishes, or call it our weakness to convince them or also you may call it, compulsion on their part. It was all connected to one thing or the other. They had seen few things in their lives, experienced those themselves that they were overprotective and concerned all the way more, about our goodness. Or just simply that they aren't wanting to understand the changed environment; something or the other bites them from within. Our work is to know, what that really is; what turns things problematic for us as well as for them.

this is so because, one way or the other, we will reach them and connect the dotes of an unknown between us. it is not impossible, things can surely work out in favour of both of us. maybe, what we get to know can open our eyes with a new reflection of those facts that are alienated to us; but matter to both of us, equally! well, easily said than done, this would really be some task but it is how we accept it and work for it. to understand what it really is, there has to be patience, self-compose. it's not about being a saint to be able to say these previous sentences; but somewhere within all of us, there has to be an equilibrium, just with the way we live and lead our lives. that equilibrium or general satisfaction level that makes us who we are. if we lose that ability to contemplate things around us, that affect us; then we really need a reality check into our lives.

many a times in our lives, we don't really look at what we need but what we want all the way more. wants as felt are never over, but ever increasing. also, when we look at others, who are having a life of great luxury or glitter, we fancy their style and feel bad on seeing that they are travelling places, trying all sports, doing this and that; whatever we don't do, or simply can't do because we are bound in a way or two. does this have to mean we can't be happier? that we choose to cry over little facts that life doesn't treat us well! well, do you really treat your life well that it would treat you so. not all had the best cars or bikes to drive, still they walked the long roads. to them happiness may not have been to enjoy the drive, but surely their happiness would have been through the celebration of the night sky under the stars and in the day, the shade under the tree. it's how one looked at life, that life rewarded us. just to pause and look at how much room for happiness was there, only if we passed a stare at the world around us. for what all we have, look at the person who doesn't even have that; still that person has every right to dream. look at that person, who gets all the things that you don't get; then why can't you be happy? why do you have to be sad, is it required so? no, it isn't required.

why to pinch over what your friend gets, and you don't get. even the basic things of life, we don't have at times, but we do survive through those times. and why always strive to be the best, and not be who you are? isn't being best defined with having a peace of mind? there have been great visionaries who have seen life beforehand. so, it doesn't have to say or mean that they were astrologers who could read the tomorrow; it was that they could read themselves and create a space for themselves, which no one could break or take away from them. with their self compose, they could influence other beings as well, this was the special thing about them. behind every dream that has taken form, to define itself to the world; there must have been those compulsions with that very person, the so called experiences of life that revelled with the person. it was not about falling apart and breaking into tatters, when things were imposed on us for the time being and we knew it was for others happiness as much as those were for ours, as they thought. because, not always can we think of us, about us. but, of those people too, who matter to us.

yes, never compromise on your dream, because no one has right to decide your future, but if there are compulsions from the side of our guardians and we are made to move with them, then how so ever difficult be it to adjust, you should just do so. the real stars that shine are in their smiles, for those who do so much for us. they can be wrong with their decisions, but why fear from experiencing that fall in life; if it was all they wanted you to experience. obviously, to not see you fall; but if they had thought something for you, it was for your own good than theirs. maybe if you could experience their road, when you may for a time being, follow your road not that well because of them. but, one thing is sure; that even with their not allowing you to lead life the way you desire, if you follow their ways and fall eventually. then, even that failure in the other field would surely be a step towards your own dream.

don't worry if you are made to compromise, for you never know that to you life's best experiences may come out of that compromise. few reasons would be eventually defined, values of life could propagate in us with a polished embellish. just remember this, that at the end of it you have to be happy; either of your tryst to walk the path what others show you for awhile, or your own way to lead life. at last, it's a part of your journey towards the calling of your life. whatever be your dream, how different path you go; one day eventually, you will reach the right door. be positive and keep moving!

Gagandeep Singh Vaid

Thursday, 3 July 2014

Talk, a talk!

This fact always interested me as of how we humans were looking at things around us, and finally being attracted to people, places and things we actually got near to them. Like, when I would talk to a stranger, there might be some excitement to interact and somewhere our opinions would be shared, sometimes these opinions would be in conflict. Still there would be some link at a point and that would make my relation to that very person ever strong. From the amazement and excitement of life, new links and new relations would forge. One would never be too sure, if those people would give us powerful insight into our lives.

"As much as they influence us, so do we influence them."

This really moves me, and I think of one of my many conversations with a distant relative of mine. Few days back he had come to visit my place and it felt really nice to see him grown up as many years had passed since we last met. The previous time I saw him, he was introvert in his own Maryland. I am elder to him, as he's still in 10th grade. While our interaction, he made me know about stories of his life, about how he had led with them. It was all very beautiful at an instant to know his stories but then sadness came hand in hand. Well, any ways; it was an insight into his otherwise recluse nature, or the only nature of his I had seen way back!

In his words after our interaction the whole afternoon, when eventually it was evening past. “Brother, you know what? I am here talking to you, as you are listening to me with great curiosity. You had to take this from me, my side; my thoughts and my dreams. As much as I will take something or the other from you. Every person who talks to you, has a reason behind his/her interaction with you.” I agreed to what he had said, but then I thought what this lad had said, which made me feel how much sense he made. It was a spellbound moment for me. In utter joy of that moment, we shared smiles.

Then we led to the parks nearby, and I got to know that he had been a singer as well; as much as he was a painter, and much more. Inspiration or motivation say it, everyone has got that thing in themselves; irony persists, only it depends on how you take it from that person. Whether their talent and skills put your confidence down or uplift your spirits for even hard work. When I thought much, I could say to myself that there's nothing to lower one's confidence. But then, I could take it from my attitude in life only. Whence I was a lad like my relative is, I was very insecure of the world and its functioning. I was scared to hell, to think how better others were than me. This thought doesn't come much now, yes I have grown up. It is great to have this maturity in thoughts and I am proud of myself somewhere.

What moved me when I talked to him was his style of being simply himself. How I could collect his innocent thoughts and imagine mine to be similar to his. How at times, I thought of impressing everyone without thinking that it was only making it appear as an act of pretence. Well who would say this, that to speak few English words while speaking Hindi would make an effect far higher for the listener of these words. As soon as he said these lines, I felt it wrong to move with the myth. If not the best, still try to learn things in the right manner, but not to please others who don't care whatsoever for you. Care for yourself and in that care, learn; if others laugh at you, then let them do so but don't quit. Because, that's what hurts to the core when you later realize, regarding the matter that had you done what you resisted doing how good it could have been.

Ending this note, I would only say that "live life as it comes to you and don't force yourself into doing things just to impress the world. Follow your dreams and your dreams will follow you."

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

status update

what was his and what wasn't, he knew but less, in commotion he walked as the bystanders looked at his ironic state, from a fun loving guy he had stranded on a life path to be a man who was so unknown, fatigue stricken; then the young man walked up in his style once again and forgot what his real state was. he had thought of himself, if he were but a pretence, but no; he was only being polite to the world that was otherwise eating up on others hard work. yes, the so called smart world, took away that one person's hard earned bread by sitting and being a parasite. he knew, he had his fight not with them, not with that system but all in all, with that sense of winning, which took away from people their values and realness. so, was he one; wearing a mask, to not let them enjoy his fall. little had he himself thought that in showing his disregard to their ways, he had become a part of them. but he couldn't cleanse his hands of that place, because he was one of them.