I like it when your eyes keep their firm gaze at me. I know you see in me the inspiration that I see in you, I know we are happy in each other’s company. But then we stop expressing the ingenuity of the feelings we have for each other. You don’t reply to my letters, just the manner I don’t respond to the letters which many school boys and girls send me, telling me that they liked my last novel. I think I deserve it for being so rude and singing so highly of my talent. But you know what, I don’t care whether they still like me or start disliking me. I never wrote to make them please, if all I wanted anything, then it was to earn the tag of a writer. I wanted to tell you that I was good for something in this life of mine. You know why? Because I care for you, I don’t like this nature of mine, but I cannot stop myself from liking you.
I thought you would be proud of me too, the way you sing praises of people who inspire you.. here I don’t want you to sing praises of me, but just to know that I can make you feel how we felt when we met for the first time. I want you to relive those moments again and again. I am glad my writings can do that to you, and that is the greatest success for me. But then you don’t say anything. I am waiting for having a walk with you in the evening, or any time would be just perfect.
So here I am still waiting for you to say few words. It has been months since I heard from you. I think you are hiding something from me, but then I am not that important to you ‘maybe’, but I will live with it. I will miss you and think of meeting you again, and if we don’t then I will write those moments again and again, the ones we spent gazing at each other for endless seconds. Every time I feel them, I feel complete, and I feel different set of sentiments, all coming and ending at a magical feeling of affection.
I will not say my heart cannot beat without you, since a school girl wrote to me in one of her letters that, heart is over-rated word, everyone talks of it, either of its breaking or feeling the blossom when someone special says the three words, “I love you”. So I am influenced by that girl.
Considering that I read the letters of the school boys and girls, even though I don’t reply them; I feel you will read what I write too, I won’t expect a reply from you. I won’t change myself, and I know the world will never change for me too. I like this life that I lead in my moodiness, and wish you wonderful days.
P.S. : I miss you sometimes, but am too egoist to send you letters again and again. Take care, girl. Praying for your happiness wherever you are! (caring for someone takes away logic from us, we just want to spend a lot of time, thinking of the one who is special.)
a midnight writer~
Gagandeep Singh Vaid (@artistaddress)