Story of likeness and trust! Chapter-24
XXIV
She asked me, why I was so lonely? She asked me, why did I keep everything to my heart? In that one meeting, her questions had the depth to seek those answers from my soul, which I could never answer. How could I say all that to her? How could I express her, what I had in my heart? How could I make her understand who Gagan was, just how? Dhreti had taken over my dreams yet again.
When I look at the shimmer of the sun, the glorious day that is in front of me; then, I look within my being. My intense, which is filled with so much to say, that I can't stop describing myself, how deep I am. I can write a book someday on who I am, but when someone asks me who I am, I can't say a sentence about myself. Such is the irony of my being, that inward and outward I am as much known individual to myself as I am an unknown individual to the world. I know who I am and what I am looking for in this world, but to describe it is just impossible in a sentence. To understand, you will have to spend your entire life with me. Still I am unsure, if you could get me. My mood swings are phenomenal and I am not easily understandable.
Devika called me few days later and she enquired about how I had been doing, she had less idea of what all changes had come to affect me, starting with the Economic slowdown, to losing my job. Through our talks, she could understand that something was there that I had been hiding. Although, I had told her, how I had to change my company and all that related with it. Still, she felt something amiss, in our interaction. She pointed out that, 'Gagan, you're getting very conscious time and again. You are hiding something? You can share that with me, believe me, you will feel better. Just free yourself of those thoughts which are binding you within your being.' I wanted to avoid that topic, but she just didn't let it aside. I said, 'No, there's nothing to hide. What can I hide?' She was like, 'Hey, come on I want to know it now. You have to tell me Gagan. Either you are telling me, or I am not taking to you.'
I was stuck now, because I knew that I had to be honest. But, every next thought questioned me regarding, what does she have to do with Dhreti? Why should she know what troubled me? In the next words that she uttered, she had cleared my confusions. 'You know, Gagan. I am asking you that because, I feel we are friends. You should learn to share your grief with people, how longer can you keep it within yourself and further let it become problematic for you.'
I was still not convinced. I tried to avoid her indulgence but to no avail, she left no stone unturned to make me express myself. I had wanted to share all my thoughts with her, and I liked the fact that she cared for me. I was a good friend to someone for the first time in my life. I never had such a friend, who would ask me questions, even when I had denied answering further. She had her girly charm, sweetness in her words and expression to convince me that she was a friend to me.
'So, Gagan. You won't be behaving like a friend with me now? Why are you doing this? See, I will tell you what friends are for. Even if you don't agree for the two of us being friends, I will make you understand that to me you are as important as I am to you. In this world, we meet many people. We need to learn from every person whom we meet. And in our meeting, we form a link with one another. We meet for a reason, because we have to take something from everyone, to learn what life is and move with it, ahead always. You have to interact with people, and open up to the world. Be the light, the spark, you want to shimmer in this land. You shine Gagan, you shine. Believe it, you are a gem. Let your spark reach to everyone, and yes I want to know what goes in this musician's heart. I am really curious to know, what troubles you and binds you. Break these confines, come on Gagan. Come on!'
She had made me feel so special, it felt as if my life had a meaning and it was important. That, someone was there to listen to me, my words, my expressions, for that matter, whatever I had wanted to say. Someone was all ears to me, and yes to break my myth that no one could ever understand me. Devika had tried to break those confines within which I had adjusted, all that time. I wanted to fly that moment, yes, I had found a friend. That feeling was one of the most beautiful feelings of my life. I proudly continued, regardless of getting judged or being mocked at, I had someone listening to me. Thank you, Devika! I said and began my story.
To be continued--
Next in,
XXV
She asked me, why I was so lonely? She asked me, why did I keep everything to my heart? In that one meeting, her questions had the depth to seek those answers from my soul, which I could never answer. How could I say all that to her? How could I express her, what I had in my heart? How could I make her understand who Gagan was, just how? Dhreti had taken over my dreams yet again.
When I look at the shimmer of the sun, the glorious day that is in front of me; then, I look within my being. My intense, which is filled with so much to say, that I can't stop describing myself, how deep I am. I can write a book someday on who I am, but when someone asks me who I am, I can't say a sentence about myself. Such is the irony of my being, that inward and outward I am as much known individual to myself as I am an unknown individual to the world. I know who I am and what I am looking for in this world, but to describe it is just impossible in a sentence. To understand, you will have to spend your entire life with me. Still I am unsure, if you could get me. My mood swings are phenomenal and I am not easily understandable.
Devika called me few days later and she enquired about how I had been doing, she had less idea of what all changes had come to affect me, starting with the Economic slowdown, to losing my job. Through our talks, she could understand that something was there that I had been hiding. Although, I had told her, how I had to change my company and all that related with it. Still, she felt something amiss, in our interaction. She pointed out that, 'Gagan, you're getting very conscious time and again. You are hiding something? You can share that with me, believe me, you will feel better. Just free yourself of those thoughts which are binding you within your being.' I wanted to avoid that topic, but she just didn't let it aside. I said, 'No, there's nothing to hide. What can I hide?' She was like, 'Hey, come on I want to know it now. You have to tell me Gagan. Either you are telling me, or I am not taking to you.'
I was stuck now, because I knew that I had to be honest. But, every next thought questioned me regarding, what does she have to do with Dhreti? Why should she know what troubled me? In the next words that she uttered, she had cleared my confusions. 'You know, Gagan. I am asking you that because, I feel we are friends. You should learn to share your grief with people, how longer can you keep it within yourself and further let it become problematic for you.'
I was still not convinced. I tried to avoid her indulgence but to no avail, she left no stone unturned to make me express myself. I had wanted to share all my thoughts with her, and I liked the fact that she cared for me. I was a good friend to someone for the first time in my life. I never had such a friend, who would ask me questions, even when I had denied answering further. She had her girly charm, sweetness in her words and expression to convince me that she was a friend to me.
'So, Gagan. You won't be behaving like a friend with me now? Why are you doing this? See, I will tell you what friends are for. Even if you don't agree for the two of us being friends, I will make you understand that to me you are as important as I am to you. In this world, we meet many people. We need to learn from every person whom we meet. And in our meeting, we form a link with one another. We meet for a reason, because we have to take something from everyone, to learn what life is and move with it, ahead always. You have to interact with people, and open up to the world. Be the light, the spark, you want to shimmer in this land. You shine Gagan, you shine. Believe it, you are a gem. Let your spark reach to everyone, and yes I want to know what goes in this musician's heart. I am really curious to know, what troubles you and binds you. Break these confines, come on Gagan. Come on!'
She had made me feel so special, it felt as if my life had a meaning and it was important. That, someone was there to listen to me, my words, my expressions, for that matter, whatever I had wanted to say. Someone was all ears to me, and yes to break my myth that no one could ever understand me. Devika had tried to break those confines within which I had adjusted, all that time. I wanted to fly that moment, yes, I had found a friend. That feeling was one of the most beautiful feelings of my life. I proudly continued, regardless of getting judged or being mocked at, I had someone listening to me. Thank you, Devika! I said and began my story.
To be continued--
Next in,
XXV
Time: 8:00 A.M.
Date: 04/01/2015
Date: 04/01/2015
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